arif

letting go of struggle

In Uncategorized on November 14, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I’ve been struggling with a great many things recently. Time, commitments, parenting, engagement with community, race and class dynamics, and my relationship to prayer and the divine.

And by struggling, I mean that I was very much in that space of “needing to figure it out-ness” striving for answers, for definition, and for hard-edged truth.

Somewhere over the last week or so, that flipped and I was able to let go. I’m pretty sure that being at the Resource Generation conference helped with that. For me, it was a space and time for practice with dear friends (kundalini yoga, meditation, metta, and somatic centering). It was also a space that invited us to bring, share, and face into the messiness of our lives and our own relationship to money, to race, to privilege. . . and I’m pretty sure that in response to that invitation, I brought it, all.

So between the election, the Resource Generation conference, the death of a friend, my Wellspring group meeting, and a first meeting with a spiritual counselor/director, something in me let go. I moved back into that place of “living the questions” (thank you Rilke) and surrender to life as it is, instead of life as I might want it to be.

It’s a far more spacious place, and what’s remarkable, though perhaps not at all surprising is that as I’ve embraced this opening to what is, a great many of the things that I was trying to figure out have become clearer and more resolved.

I’m looking forward to many many more opportunities to learn and re-learn this lesson!